Monthly Archives: February 2012

If God Let Me Write My Love Story: Would I Really Write It Differently?

I love a good romantic comedy.  I really do.  Just Like Heaven, Never Been Kissed, Just My Luck (yes, even though it’s Lindsey Lohan), etc.  The list could probably go on for a while.

They all have the same basic premise. 

It goes something like this:  Girl is going after life/goal/trying to find herself.  Via a contrived meet cute, Girl Meets Lead Guy, normally under some unlikely circumstance and even though she is attracted to him, it just doesn’t seem like an option.  Same goes for guy—she’s either out of his league (above or beneath or a ghost) or he’s dealing with some tragedy in his past (which makes him the desired brooding type the audience roots for).

There is a realization by each party that they are smitten.  It looks like the couple will come together…maybe it’s a montage of fun moments together, a vulnerable time of back story or a random championing of one or the other that leads to the mutual “ah-ha” moment.

Then, as it is wont to do, conflict hits and “reality” gives them a wakeup call, which in this case is represented by some nearly insurmountable conflict/misunderstanding that drives the couple apart.

A time of soul searching ensues.  Eventually, they are drawn back together like magnets, realizing that come what may, they can’t let circumstances keep them apart.  A bold, unashamed, come hell or high water type of declaration is made, cue cheesy music and the kiss the audience has waited for…and roll credits.

And we EAT THIS STUFF UP!  Ladies, let’s be honest—these are the stories we like and we dream of living for ourselves.  Whether you relate to Julia Stiles as Kat in ’10 Things I Hate About You’ or you’re more like Kristen Bell as Beth in ‘When In Rome’, we’ve all dreamed a dream in times gone by.  We’ve all wanted to be the heroine that is strong and still swept off her feet.

So, why do we think real life is any different?  When it comes to “Mr. Right”, we really want him to be here right now!

We want that perfect guy to come, announce himself as the perfect guy, propose and be done with it. 

But think about it…if you walked into a movie with that kind of plot, would you like it?  Would you recommend it?  Would you sigh or laugh as you discuss it later?  I highly doubt it.  There’s no adventure, no character development, no investment—and no one wants to pay $10 to watch a movie lacking those key plot elements.  So why would you pay your life for it?

Picture your favorite Rom-Com leading lady.  Do you think she enjoys the fact that the screen writer is writing her a memorable love story when she is standing dejected in the rain or is binging on ice cream on her valentine’s night spent alone?  Probably not.  That’s why we relate to her.

Thing is, a good plot that pulls us all in and plays on our heartstring is not about some chick sitting in her kitchen just waiting for the doorbell to ring.  It’s about a bold woman living life and the hijinks that follow when her movie man is released on the scene.

If we are grateful when the Hollywood writers meet that expectation and show us a love story that makes our hearts flutter, why do we gripe at God when it seems like our romance is in a holding pattern?

Let’s face it.  When we picture the movie of our own dreamed love story-there is waiting, conflict and a joyful realization.   These elements move a story, develop character and provide satisfaction that isn’t realized apart from the plot arc.  Sure, omniscience on the when, where and how might put our little hearts at ease, but where is the story in that?

If I’m being honest, and God were to hand me the pen to write the love story of my dreams…it would still involve the elements I don’t enjoy because it makes the resolution that much sweeter.  So, I think I’ll leave that double edged tool in the hands of the Author of Love and enjoy it as the story unfolds.


Ladies-What do you think…if you were to write the synopsis of your dream love story-how would it read?

Guys-What about you-What does a love story that appeals to a man look like?

Anyone have plans for showing love to the masses today?  Share and encourage!


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The Ghost of Valentines Past: Why Some Love’s Were Never Meant to Die

(Have you ever had one of those days when you flip back through your journal to see what was going through your mind “at this time last year”?  I have…only, I don’t really keep a journal, so this blog has to suffice.  While strolling through memory lane, I re-read this entry from just around a year ago and decided to give it a little face lift.  So, this years thoughts are bold-ed and dispersed throughout…amazing how it’s still relevant).


So, I am about to get a little vulnerable.  There is a point to this post, however, I feel it will be better communicated if the mental journey I made today (last year…and again today) is showcased, and for the good of mankind (so noble, I know), I am willing to expose some of the inner workings of my heart.  If you skip the backstory, please read the italicized portion at the end.

As a good percentage of the world gears up for February 14th, the temptation can arise for those lonely ride in bucket 5 individuals (Never Been Kissed reference for the ladies) to view it as the season of our discontent. (Still a great girl movie).

Even for those of us who are single by choice, gladly embracing the time we have to pursue those things God has put in our heart, it can be a little discouraging. (This year, I would reword it…not discouraging…just mildly distracting.  This past year, God has really shown me how a heart set on him can rest and be encouraged by just about anything… gratefulness–it changes everything).

I can’t lie, as I see my friends enjoying a season I have yet to know, a little stirring of desire may disturb the quiet waters of my own contented soul.  (Desire is still there, but contentment and joy have grown).

There was even a time when I readily joined in with my friends in celebrating Happy SAD (Singles Awareness Day) on February 14th (the ironic thing, those who were most gung-ho in celebration are now happily married). (Historical, thus still true).

So, as I find myself approaching this annual celebration of Love, I can hear the little niggling voice in the back of my mind.  Initially, I simply thought I would simply post something encouraging about enjoying the season of singleness or some other Joshua Harris approved sentiment. (While there may be more posts like this in the future, I’ve really learned that Singleness isn’t about being alone or not “in love”, but it’s about being open to love indiscriminately.  There is no one to be jealous, no one to feel ignored or under appreciated.  But there are plenty in need of compassion and time).   

But, the Muse of Divine Inspiration, the Holy Spirit, got a hold of me this morning with a challenge and I decided to pass it on to anyone out there who is tiered of maintaining and would enjoy taking some ground.

So, for 2011, I am issuing a Valentine’s Challenge to myself and who ever else might be game.  This year, I am determined to be an extension of love to someone without looking for love back. (I’m taking up my own challenge again in 2012…maybe it will be a tradition).

John 15:13 (GOD’S WORD Translation)

13The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends.

When we lay down our own gratification and seek to love and serve with our only satisfaction being the fact that we have been an extension of Jesus to someone and he has been made great in their life, we are extending true Love.  It may be inconvenient, it may not be “romantic” but it could mean the world to someone.

John 15:13 (The Message)

11-15“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.

So, this year, I’m committed to sharing in the mature Joy of Jesus by loving how He loves.  So, think about it and find a way to be an extension.  

I’ll be donating blood for example Tuesday, February 14th.  One time giving can save up to three lives.  

Some other options, send random cards to people, buy someones lunch when they aren’t looking, spend your romantic dinner serving food for those who don’t have anything.  

I’m still getting my game plan together, and the only reason I post this now is to see if together, we can make a difference and just love.

Whether you are single in facebook status or just single-minded in your pursuit, it’s really not about ring on your finger or candy in your mouth…just love.

Thoughts?  Plans?  Share them in the comments, you may just inspire someone else.


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Filed under A Singles Bucket List, Adventure, Personal, Thoughts

Guest Post’d

Good Day All!

If you haven’t done it yet, make sure you drop by Sammy Adebiyi’s blog.  This is the only blog I know that the author can take a brief sabbatical to, you know, have a baby and the dialog and community double and triple.

If you need more incentive than that, I’ve got a guest post up there today-check it out!

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