[This guest-post is brought to you by a great friend of mine and I am so humbled to host this on my blog. Elaine is one of the most confident and honest individuals I know and when I asked her to share some of her experience with “All the Single Ladies”, she was ready and willing. So, read it, take it in and show her some love in the comments-Lyssah]
I am closer to forty than I am to thirty but somehow I wonder why I’m not scared of the idea of aging.
The world around me gives a great recipe for all the stuff you can do to slow down the aging process. That’s of course not forgetting the onslaught of media propaganda about women and how we feel about the idea.
Today though, my focus is not on the aging process or lack thereof.
I mean I trust that we have all been around long enough to know that it really doesn’t matter what the number says right? If however, the age thing still bothers you…? Well, give it a few years and you will catch on. I started with the age thing because it kind of defines where I’m going with this.
Women and the singleness issue!
Don’t get too excited please. This is not about telling you how to find Mr. Right.
I wonder myself where he is and why he is taking so long to show up. But my main question is what do I do until he does?
Wait in a holding pattern?
Put my life on pause and stop living?
Convince myself I am better off single while I slink into the land of utter depression and anxiety while secretly checking out the male species to see who will express the least bit of interest in me?
Let me go back to the age thing and say that I do not worry about the ticking clock because I really like who I am and how I look as I grow older.
I say that to point out that I do not have all the answers to all of life’s issues on aging or dating or the single life. I do what works for me on a daily basis based on the situations and circumstances I am faced with.
In each of those days I wake up entrusting my life and my day to God and trusting him to give the wisdom I require to survive another day as myself.
To that effect I am a constant work in progress.
So give me a minute or two to share what I have learned from being single.
I choose to be happy. To derive joy from the person that I am, this unique being that God created with such care and love. I choose to enjoy me, to be self-aware and look deep inside and tell myself the truth of who I am.
To change what needs to be changed.
To be better, make better decisions, love more etc.
Identify the ugly in me and ask for help changing stuff up.
To face the hard truth even when I am tempted to ignore things like character traits that are downright ugly.
I choose to identify the good and harness it to make it better.
To have fun with my life.
Discover myself more and more each day.
Be comfortable in my own skin.
Love my own company if there is no one to enjoy it with.
Go to the movies on my own or to a fancy shmanzy restaurant and have a blast at it.
Give myself a treat and take a trip alone if I so desire or just hang out with my married friends and have fun being the third wheel.
To love their kids with such intensity it scares me sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong I do have days where it’s hard to do any of those.
When I don’t feel like going to the movies alone to watch a sappy love story with all the couples cuddling at the theater. Days where a friend gives his wife a hug and a kiss and I just hurt so bad it’s almost a physical ache. Nights of yearning for someone to just hold me and tell me that I matter.
In all of that, I choose to breathe in and breathe out rather than breathe in and hold my breath as I wait and wait and wait and wait for a man who will come to make me happy and show me how to enjoy my life.
Do I stay in that state of deep inhalation and not ever exhale?
What if he never shows up?
What if he shows up and has no CPR skills?
What do I do? Die? Oh heck no!
Get out of the holding pattern!
Discover you! Make you better!
Live. Life. Better.
Not for anyone else but for you and God who created you.
Let’s breathe in and breathe out together.
Wouldn’t you rather enjoy a real kiss than feeling like you need a CPR one?
What do you think?
Can you relate to the feeling that finding the “right one” will somehow bring you to life?
CPR Kiss? Can you think of any other crazy expectations that we may, as singles, harbor in our hearts?